everything's okay, i'm just trying to act my age | |
| brad - 8/26/08 - 2:28 am | |
My site turned 9 years old and I promptly went on hiatus.
FOR SIX WEEKS.
Hello there. How ya doin'? Long time no see.
What are we on here... post number 3,293? Yeesh.
If you're just joining us, it's 3:05 in the A.M. on Sunday, August 24th, and you're watching "Perspectives".
I'm actually just killing time before some Olympic Handball action.
YOU HEARD ME RIGHT.
Actually, by the time this post is done, I will know the outcome of the gold medal match between Iceland and France. Because it will be 24 hours after I started writing... and I won't be getting a full night's rest. That's how I roll.
(Haha, it's Tuesday now. I swear this post will never end.)
I don't know if I can even begin to remember the past six weeks. But I'll try dammit, I will try! Actually, I did get through a pretty lengthy post on 8/2 before ditching it for some reason... no wait, I remember why now. Hah! Oh this will be wonderful. Onwards to mediocrity!
Q. Why did I stop writing?
A. One can only write "shit sucks" so many times before even the author gets annoyed.
My new strategy for this post was to focus on "POSITIVE STUFF", as I so neatly capitalized in my notepad file. So I will start with the 40 hours of my week that dictates the other 128. When I left you last, I was amidst yet another week of hating my life. I seriously had 4 solid weeks in a row of this before proclaiming enough was enough. On Friday 7/18, at the end of my day before leaving work, I drafted my resignation letter. I wrote up the email and attached the letter. Then I sat there for a moment and recalled the last 5 jobs I quit. Everything felt right. I was content that I had enough of this job and was ready to start over. But I went ahead and did that responsible thing where you don't make a decision based solely off of emotions. I deleted the email, went home, and did the weekend stuff. The following week, I had a meeting with my recruiter, a chance meeting with the manager with the company I'm actually contracted out to, and multiple talks with the on-site manager. The result was that I wanted out, and now everybody knew it. The week after that, the info slowly leaked to the people in the building I work with. I also interviewed with another company as well. I was basically on my way out the door by the end of that week.
And then... I can't really explain why or how I started thinking about it.
It was an option, and I wasn't exploring it. So every night during the last week of July, during my walking and running at night when I do nothing but go through the billions of thoughts I have, I gave it a shot. One of my managers said to think of a number that would keep me around and end my job search. I immediately went out of range and then tried to justify it. At first I couldn't. So I scaled it back, tried to be reasonable, played with the figures, did many a calculation. I took into consideration my upcoming housing situation, rising prices in general, lack of benefits, this that and the other thing. Eventually I led myself right back to the original number. Either they really want me, or I'll just start over again somewhere else for the same amount I was currently making sans all the stress and frustration I was dealing with now. I fired off an email on 8/3, and sat back to see what would unfold.
4 days go by... nothing.
8/8/8 - one of those fun days on the calendar - I get a call in the afternoon from the recruiter, and he shocks me by saying they'd go ahead with it effective starting the next week. I kinda wasn't expecting that at all. It sure as hell didn't come over that way from me on the phone either, haha. I was like "sure, okay, uh-huh, that's nice." Like I've now been conditioned to do, I didn't believe it until I saw it on my paycheck. A little bit of glee surfaced, haha. So as it stands, I'm still doing the same job, only for 26% more pay than I was before. Instead of starting over and sticking to my reasoning, I went the other direction and took the money over the sanity. Since that all took place, things haven't been as hectic as they were. There's still a hefty amount of mind-boggling retardation I deal with, but it's not as intense. I am only taking it to be one of the many lower points on the sine wave that is this job. I'm sure something will happen to completely ramp everything up again before it subsides back down to tolerable levels again. Basically, I'm willing to see how it plays out. By the end of the year, there will be another re-evaluation, and we'll go from there.
So that takes care of the employment/money situation. I'm content with both at the moment. How is the rest of my life faring? Let's step into the realm of my personal health - another huge reason why I haven't posted lately.
I've been running at night for 7 straight weeks. On weeks I have a soccer game, I only run 5 nights, have the game one night, and rest the other. On weeks I didn't have soccer, between spring and fall seasons, I was running seven nights a week. I have a 5 mile loop that I cover. I walk two miles to warm up, stretch for 10-15 minutes, throw in some sit-ups and push-ups, run for a half mile, walk a half mile, run a mile, walk the last mile home. I timed myself one night, and I am averaging 15 minute miles walking, and 8:30 to 9 minute miles running, which is my par for the course. I used to be pretty quick way, way back in the day, but I've only clocked myself running a sub-8 minute mile a handful of times over the past 6 years. I threw some numbers into a few online calorie calculators, and for my age and weight, they all seem to say that I burn around 600 calories during my routine. That's not too bad for one day's work. That has translated into a bit of weight loss this year. I started the year weighing 217 lbs. I weighed myself last week, and I was 203 lbs. WOOOOO!!! That's well above the 1 lb. a month pace I was content with sticking with. I'm not looking to drop 40 lbs. at once, the slow and gradual weight loss plan works mighty fine for me. 9 lbs. to go before I reach my post-appendix surgery weight, 17 lbs. to go before I reach the lowest I've weighed since I started this website. While I have a little less chin fat and it's starting to look less and less like I'm having a child, I still look in the mirror and feel like I have so much farther to go. But the thing that amazes me most are my pants. (Don't ya just hate pants?)
Last year, September-ish, my khaki's that I had forever were falling apart. I couldn't sew them up anymore and look like a respectable human being. So I hit up the mall, got my self a couple new pairs and called it a day. My waist was clearly rocking a 38-plus. No belt required. I put them on, they stayed up, I was satisfied. This was amidst the fall soccer campaign that I didn't end up finishing. Fast forward to the spring. I started playing more, I started eating better, and they loosened up. Summer came, and I just happened to notice the damn things were too loose. "I need to buy a belt!" I've never had to say that at any point in my life. I've never been a belt wearing person. I found one that wasn't too shabby, strapped it on, and continued onwards. I found it neat that I was even losing enough weight to justify the purchase. Another month and a half goes by, and all of a sudden... wtf? "WHY WON'T THESE PANTS STAY ON?" I had to use the next notch in the belt. I was fascinated by this. In the span of 10 months, I went from fatty-pants with no belt, to needing a belt, to three notches deep on a belt. Who says I don't know how to take care of myself? Now I'm to the point where the third notch feels very comfortable, and using the 4th notch in isn't something too far off in the future. At that point, I'm just going to buy new pants! But damn, even if it doesn't show appearance wise, my pants alone tell the entire story for me so far.
The end of June and all of July were extremely respectable months in terms of my diet. August, not so much. I don't count calories or have myself on any sort of points system, I simply write down if I go out to eat and what I ate. It helps put into perspective how much I eat out, and in a way it helps motivate me to eat out less. As I now glance at the list, I need to get back on track. It's more of a mental thing to get over than anything else. I still see places and say "I haven't ate there in awhile" which justifies eating there, which isn't close to being a rational answer. So that's still an ongoing battle that I have to fight on a weekly basis. The bottom line is that if I at least make up for a horrid day with a couple-few good ones, then I don't care. If I feel like eating 3500 calories one day and 1250 per day the next three, then I'll do so. My statistics show that I end up balancing out to even or better. (A recent incident pissed me off that I could easily get into further, but it's not worth it.)
So all in all, my health is improving every month that goes by. To piggy back on that, I have to also mention my soccer seasons. I didn't find an additional league to join, but I found a couple pick up games I can join every week if I choose to. Those tire me the eff out too, let me tell ya. You think 7 on 7 on a short field wouldn't be intense, but it will wear you out. Or at least, it wore me out good, haha. Running is one thing; back and forth chasing, sprinting, and making plays is another. But it's good. I haven't been out to them as much as I'd like, work sometimes keeps me over much longer than usual lately so I don't have time to drive out to Fair Lakes or where ever they are. I always have my running if I miss them. As for my soccer seasons, when I left last, I still had a couple games to go in the "spring" season. We ended up 5-1-6 (W-T-L) and 5th place in the group. I led the team with 12 goals, scoring 11 of them during an 8-game scoring streak to end the season. It felt good to be back on top of the scoring table for once :) The fall season just started two weeks ago, we are currently 1-0-1 (W-T-L). I haven't scored yet, but I've had to play goalkeeper for parts of each game so far. I played the last 25 minutes or so of the first game, and the first 45 of the second game. I did pretty well for never having played goalkeeper in a game situation before. Hopefully we'll get the goaltending situation straightened out and I can get back to scoring goals! Then again, maybe this is my time to shine in net... we'll see how it goes.
Things are looking up. 26% more money, weighing 14 less pounds. 2008 is starting to look like it will turn out as a good year for me! Moving on to a couple more integral parts of life in general: housing and transportation.
My car passed inspection this weekend, woo! I thought I might need breaks, since it's been two years since I had them replaced, but the shop said they measured well above what the state required. Every now and then I hear some really bad squeaking and I didn't want to completely destroy my breaks like I almost did the time before. Apparently I am alright for the time being. I also passed the bi-annual emissions testing with no problem. The Najicalmobile is street legal for one more year, hahaha. I mean, I still need a new car. My back windows have ceased to work for a couple years now, and the front ones are starting to show their wear and tear as they won't go down properly anymore. My roof seems to be leaking in more places, although it hasn't rained in such a long time that I don't know if it was a fluke or not. I still get good gas mileage, and that's all I'm really concerned about for now. I'm definitely not trying to impress anyone with what I drive, just trying to get from point A to point B with as much fuel conservation as possible. Although, I really like the Mazda 6 and the newer Toyota Corolla. Most likely resolution is that I will find myself a nice used Saturn Ion when I do feel it is time to move on from the SL2. I just turned 160,000 miles on it a couple days ago, which means I've put 85,000 on it myself from when I got it in August of 2002. Oh, it still pumps out A/C and heat like a champion too, which is another plus it still has. It's a nice little sporty car, in a hurting 11-year old sort of way :)
I have to call the landlord to see if he will extend our lease that ends on October 31st until the end of the year. A couple roommates need the extra time to get their own situations in order. I don't know if it will happen, but the landlord guy has been great so far, so it's possible he'll work with us on that. Regardless, I'm not too worried about my upcoming situation. I've already perused listings just to see what's out there, and there's enough that if I had to slum it for 6 months somewhere, I can. I think what shocked me was some listings a co-worker was showing me recently. He found a townhouse in Reston, albeit 35 years old, going for $149,000. And according to the realtor that he is working with, he expects housing prices to keep on dropping into the winter months. For the first time in my life, I actually thought to myself, "I could possibly afford to own a dwelling of some sort". The idea in itself blows my mind, and the only reason it's even feasible in the first place is that I'm making a half-way decent salary now. I've always lived my life with the idea that I could up and move myself anywhere I wanted to, that I wouldn't tie myself down. During the 4 years now that I've lived up in NoVA, it's never once crossed my mind that this is where I'll stay for the rest of my days. So I've never had the interest in owning something permanent, and that renting is more than fine enough for me. But with things changing the way they are recently, maybe setting up shop for at least a little while is something to give some serious thought to. We'll see how the next couple months play out. Yes, I'll most likely be renting again at my next place, but who knows, maybe I'm feeling FEISTY, hahaha.
Also, whichever way I decide to go, I have to decide if I go it alone, or with a roommate. And as of late, I'm thinking alone. I've grown to the point where I need to be able to do whatever I want and not have to deal with other people's schedules or whatever. All I want to come home to is a quiet house and deflate however which way I choose. Even if it's going to end up costing me a bit more to do that, I think it's time to start using my paycheck to treat myself to my own domicile. To be honest, I'm only holding out on one scenario right now where I would share my next living space, and that's showing small signs of moving in the right direction. There's a ways to go still, but if it works out, then my profit margin each month won't take such a hit after I move out of the house.
I'd say the job, my health, the car and the living situation sum up four of the five major things that constitute the majority of my life. The other thing... well, that was an LJ rant a couple days ago, and now that it's out of my system, I can go back to ignoring it for hopefully another 12 months. Now on to the other stuff that I've had queued up over the last six weeks.
My auto insurance dropped $174, and is now down to $803 for a year. Spiffy. It's about time something went down for me. Pun intended.
My sports-fu is weak. I have yet to see a DC United game this summer. I have yet to visit the new ballpark that was built for the Nationals. The Tigers made their yearly visit to Baltimore in mid-July, but I wasn't up for taking a trip to see them. I didn't watch the Wimbledon finals on tv. I'm pretty sure if this was any other year, I'd have accomplished all of these items by now. My problem is I am making too big of a deal about money these days. A lot of fun has been sacrificed because of it. I know some people get their raises and immediately turn them into purchases of any kind. I don't think I'll go crazy or anything, but at least now I think I will be able to go out and enjoy myself without feeling too bad about spending the money on it.
My concert-fu is also weak, but I remedied it recently. That too was suffering in the wake of my attitude towards spending money. This year's DC Chili Cook Off lineup was pretty decent. Chevelle, Finger 11, and Live (who I still haven't seen live.) I know I just wasn't up for going that day for multiple reasons. The last concert I had been to was 311 back in '06 at Pine Knob (I know it's not called that anymore). But I had made mention of this year's 311 tour earlier, and the day actually snuck up on me. I woke up that Sunday with literally NOTHING to do. I kinda stared at my calendar and thought, "wasn't something happening July 20th?" Yes, 311 & Snoop Dogg were in the vicinity. I basically used the entire early afternoon wrestling with myself to go. I decided it would be dumb to know 311 was in town and not go because I was all mopey-retarded in my head. So I headed out to Nissan Pavilion, which actually isn't that far away. I'm sure in traffic it seems 4-times further, but I-66 wasn't clogged for the first time in forever. I snagged myself a lawn ticket and scoped out the place before heading up the stairs to the lawn area.
Nissan is the typical cookie-cutter modern amphitheater. Nothing too special about it. I know, 4 years down here and this is my first time being there. The Italian-ice vendor that was there that day has pretty much the best dessert I've had in awhile. I plopped down $14 on two cup-fulls of the treat, one in-between each set. So tasty. The music was good as expected. The first band Fiction Plane was actually rockin'. I enjoyed their entire set, they definitely fit in with the groove that 311 is accustomed to. I've still gotta sample some more of their music. Next up was Snoop and his gang. I haven't been at a rap artists' performance, but you can't go wrong with the Dogg. A bunch of old stuff, a bunch of new stuff, a bunch of references to green paraphernalia, I assume the usual, haha. It was entertaining. Near the middle of his set, the sky started to turn grey, the sun was gone, and the temperatures dropped. It was easily 90° in the sun that day, I'm sure it dropped 20 degrees by this time. I experienced quite the weather phenomenon. The front came through, and I now know what a wind tunnel feels like. The winds were so intense, I was holding on to my hat for dear life, and making sure there wasn't an errant funnel cloud being created, haha. The wind gusts were such a relief to the earlier heat, but just to feel the force of the winds as they swept through the area was amazing. Shortly after, the rain came, but at least it read the script. It started to sprinkle just as they were clearing the stage, it poured, I got soaked, then the rain let up just as 311 played their intro. I had a towel to sit on, but it turned into a makeshift barrier to keep me partially dry. 311 stayed mostly old-school with their set. They didn't play anything off of DTOM, and only 2 off of Evolver. The setlist was okay. "Taiyed" off of their Grassroots album was my favorite one they played that night. I'd like to note that all the sets seemed short to me. 311 played 21 songs, but it seemed much shorter than that when I was there. I guess I'm just getting old or something, haha. I'm glad I went, it was a good time. I did end up standing most of the time, even though I set up shop at the tip-top of the grass area, so my legs were sore for a bit. One more experience I can mark down in the journal.
There was also a concert in August that caught my eye, but it was in Baltimore and it was on a Tuesday. I didn't feel like fighting any sort of rush-hour traffic on I-95, so I passed on it. It was none other than Live, with guests Collective Soul & Blues Traveler. That's a solid 90's show right there. So that makes two opportunities to see Live in person this year in my general vicinity, and I miss out on it. Argh. It makes that show I missed at VT that much more frustrating. If I could be front-row pit area to hear "Lakini's Juice", I'd be set for life.
I just HAVE to mention the weather. June and July were very warm, but not ridiculous hot as in the past couple years. August has just been GORGEOUS. I seriously have not used my A/C in my car much at all this year, it's been that nice out here. And the nights? Almost every single night I've been out running has been perfect in one way or another. Even the more humid nights weren't unbearable. I don't know what the deal is, the last couple summers here were HOT and HUMID and straight up disgusting. This summer is about as perfect a summer this area will see. I've enjoyed almost every day and night thus far. One of my absolute favorite nights was when I went running during a full moon. To see the trail lit up with moonlight was so neat. It's such a different world out there when no one is around. Where darkness should be, the moon has lit it up with it's distinct beams of light. I will miss the weather when summer is over. Although, I do like to INDULGE in some fall weather, don't get me wrong :)
Oh, what else. I actually had a lot more from the original post I am passing on. Topics included Apatheism, funds allocation, 33 days without eating fast food, a conversation amongst co-workers about trying to "hook me up" with girls, other thoughts about my health, Nilla Wafers and Yoo-Hoo being two of the most awesome things to eat and drink (respectively), general pet-peeves and other irritable things (like talking to me right after I wake up in the morning), cute blonde runner chicks and tall skinny guys somehow always go together, Giant is all of a sudden trying to become a classy supermarket. I am going to insert an aside I had:
Aside:
I think modern technology is getting closer to devices that can read your mind and have them output something into a computer. What I need is a device that will record all the thoughts in my brain into a text file that I can just edit when I get home from a walk, or a car ride, or where ever. It would make journaling a whole lot easier for me. When I'm drifting away into my brain, I can seriously go off on some subjects, but they never translate over well by the time I get home and find time to write about them. I'm a level 50 think tank out there on the trail, or on the road, or whenever I'm drifting into the depths of my mind. I can never convey those thoughts onto here with as much passion. It's a shame sometimes.
Yeah, I have some things that I can *seriously* go off on that I pass on putting the effort into. At the end of the day, you can't tell other people what to do or what to think. For every topic you are passionate about, someone else out there is just as passionate about the opposite of what you think. At one point, I wanted to come back on here and just straight up start offending people. Sometimes I still think I should. The whole "I have a voice, I can say whatever I want, don't listen to it if you don't agree" type of crusade. Haha, sometimes I think I should carry a voice recorder with me when I'm out walking, but then I don't want to be the crazy guy talking to himself at 1 in the morning every night. Ah well. I'm not a confrontational or offending type of person to begin with. If you only knew the amount of things I've buried before posting this page every week.
Dingo and The Baby! 97.1! Quahog!
This post will never get done at this rate :) I do have to mention the Olympics though.
I did not watch the opening or closing ceremonies. I barely watched anything "live". The online streaming of video was pretty decent. I watched a decent amount of table tennis and handball. I did stay up late to watch the gold medal games of soccer and handball. I watched the Romanian woman win the women's marathon. I watched all of Michael Phelps' swimming events on replay. I watched a decent amount of both indoor and beach volleyball. Going into these Olympics, I wasn't too terribly interested in watching any of it, but after a couple days I couldn't help it. I almost kind of miss it, despite watching so little. I was always on Wikipedia looking at updated medal counts and event results. I was pulling for Iceland to win their first gold medal of any Olympic competition, but they fell to the French 28-23 in the goal medal handball game. That sport is a lot more intense than I took it to be initially. I'd totally watch it if it were mainstream in the US, which it never will be. Hell, I doubt we even have a team. But anyways, for what it's worth, it was good to catch what events I could over those two weeks. Hopefully Chicago gets the games in '16 just to make the time differences bearable.
I'm sure there's much, much more I'm forgetting, but I can't possibly keep going with this post. Hell, I never even got to the links portion of the show. I'll have to save that all for an upcoming week. If anything, that's a small taste of what's been going on in my life lately. Hopefully it won't be as long until the next post. Or maybe it's finally time to hang it up. (Hah, I always say that.) Until next time.
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